Letting go: tips for parents of new college students

After 18 years of parenting, it can be hard to let go. Here is a sneak peek at the challenges of the transition ahead and advice to prepare right now.

The emotional roller coaster

Recognize this is a time of ambivalence for all parents.

The excitement and joy about opportunities awaiting your child are mixed with the waves of nostalgia and a sense of loss. Talk with other parents who are going through the same thing.

Recognize your child’s conflicting emotions.

Your child, like you, is being pulled between past, present and future … one day exclaiming “leave me alone; I’m 18 years old. I’m independent” and the next complaining “you’re never around when I need you.” Your child’s ups and downs are a sign of the ambivalence of this transitional time.

Take comfort in the knowledge that part of you is going with your child.

The foundation you have provided over the past 18 years will accompany your child across the miles and throughout the years.

Don’t tell your child “These are the best years of your life.”

No one is happy all the time between the ages of 18 and 22, and when a student is homesick or overtired from studying all night, it’s not reassuring to have parents imply that this is as good as it gets!

Enjoy this time of celebration.

Try not to focus so much on the upcoming departure that you might miss the full impact of the senior year festivities and the joy of summer days ahead.

The summer before

Be prepared to see less of your child this summer.

The closer it gets to departure time, the less you can expect to see of your child. He will likely be spending every waking hour with friends. Allow them this special time together.

Make a financial plan and discuss expectations with your child.

Develop a tentative budget and be clear about who will pay for what. For example, some parents pay for books and supplies, while their child is responsible for incidental expenses such as snacks, movies, and CDs. Other students are responsible for earning a percentage of their tuition. Teach your child about responsible use of credit and debit cards.

Discuss academic goals and expectation ahead of time.

Remember, many freshmen do not do as well academically first semester as they did in high school, and many change their minds about their proposed course of study. Ask them what they hope to accomplish academically during their first year. It is important for them to take ownership of their education. Grades are not the only indication of learning.

Communication: Keeping in touch

Talk to your child about how you’ll keep in touch.

Do you want a planned time to talk or do you want to be more spontaneous? A cell phone can be a wonderful way to keep in touch, or it can be, as one student described, an “electronic leash.” Encourage your child to use it with discretion and not just to fill in the spaces. E-mail and instant messaging are also wonderful ways to keep in touch. Just don’t count on a reply to every message.

Be a coach rather than trying to solve your child’s problems yourself.

You’re likely to hear more than your share of problems. College students usually call their parents for reassurance when things aren’t going well, and call their friends with the latest exciting news. When you get those late night phone calls, and you will, you can encourage your child to use the appropriate campus resources — to go to the health service or career center, to talk to an advisor, dean, a counselor or tutor. Read resource information sent to you by the college so you can be an informed coach for your child.

Be an anchor.

Keep your child informed about changes at home. College students want their parents to accept all the changes they are making but want everything at home to stay the same. So it’s important to keep them informed about changes at home, whether it’s moving a younger sibling into their room, or, on a more serious note, about illness in the family or the death of a pet. They need this from you in order to feel secure and maintain a sense of trust.

Acknowledge that college today is different.

Although century-old buildings look untouched by time, college life today is very different from the campus scene 25 or 30 years ago. For those of you who went to college, think twice before beginning a sentence with “When I was in college…”

Ask about courses rather than focusing on grades.

Invite your child to share with you the discovery of new ideas, academic interests and intellectual passions.

Send care packages.

Early in the year, sharing popcorn or chocolate chip cookies is a wonderful way for a student to meet floor mates. Photographs are personal reminders of home. Holiday decorations, baskets of treats at exam time, and even everyday necessities like shampoo and quarters for the washing machine are reminders that say, “I’m thinking of you.”

When students come back home

Renegotiate expectations.

Your child has been making decisions on how she will spend her time for many months. You, however, may have strong feelings of your own when she comes in late at night, sleeps late in the morning or arrives late for dinner. Most students respond well if parents treat them with respect. For example, a parent might say, “I know you’re used to being out until all hours of the night at school, but I can’t sleep when I wake up at 2 in the morning and you’re not here. Let’s talk about how we’re going to handle this so that we’ll both feel good about it.” It takes flexibility and communication to find a common ground.

Understand that the college years are a time for exploration.

Your son or daughter may come home with a new look; someone else’s clothes; or new politics, philosophies, or eating habits. Most of these changes are not permanent. Take a step back, have a sense of humor, and pick your battles.

Don’t overschedule.

Tell your child ahead of time about family plans, especially over the holidays, so that he or she can make plans accordingly.

Throughout the college years

Expect change.

Students will change the way they think and way they look. Many will change their majors and career goals. They need you to stick with them, have patience when they are uncertain and support them as they chart the course of their own lives.

College students care more about what you think than they are likely to let you know.

They quote you, talk about you and look to you for encouragement. As they journey toward adulthood and independence, sometimes they want your advice and sometimes they just want you to listen. And as one of them put it, “We just won’t tell you which time is which.”

Welcome to the delights and dilemmas of being a parent of a college student.

Shared from: http://www.greatschools.org

About Brock University in Canada ( Visit on April 4, 2016)

Why Brock?

We nurture both sides of the brain

Our unique philosophy takes students beyond the pursuit of academic excellence.

Brock is a place where left-brain and right-brain thinking come together. Students develop rational/analytical thinking in concert with their emotional/creative sides. We view community involvement as crucial to developing intelligent, well-rounded members of society.

Campus to career path

More than 85 per cent of recent university graduates report working at jobs requiring skills they acquired at university.

Three years after graduation, the employment rate for university graduates is 91 per cent, and the median bachelor degree holder earns 33 per cent more than the median college graduate.

At Brock, our cross-disciplinary and interdisciplinary programs offer multi-faceted degrees that help students build careers and get jobs. 

Brock's rigorous undergraduate, graduate and doctoral programs include experiential learning opportunities and one of Canada’s largest co-op programs.

We’re growing

Through much of the past 15 years, Brock has been one of Ontario's fastest-growing universities, both in students and modern infrastructure. 

More than $300 million in construction has been committed or commissioned to expand the campus. In recent years we've constructed:

• the $120-million Cairns Family Health and Bioscience Research Complex, a state-of-the-art facility where students and professors explore new frontiers in green science and health & wellness
• in downtown St. Catharines, the spectacular new home of the Marilyn I. Walker School of Fine and Performing Arts
• new student residence spaces 
• the Jack and Nora Walker Canadian Centre for Lifespan Development Research, a facility unique in Canada
• a new International Centre
   

We’re green

Situated in the heart of Ontario's Niagara region, just 60 minutes from Toronto, Brock's campus has a beautiful natural setting along the brow of the Niagara Escarpment, which is a UNESCO Biosphere Reserve.

We have the numbers to back it up

Consider the following:

• When students from across our seven faculties gave their ratings to the Globe and Mail Canadian University Report, Brock was one of Canada’s top medium-size institutions in terms of quality of education, quality of teaching and most satisfied students.
• With more than 18,000 students and nearly 600 faculty, we’re small enough to be intimate, big enough to be world-class and in demand among international students.

We care

Brock provides opportunities for social and academic growth that don’t exist at larger universities, like access to professors. Our emphasis on moderate class sizes in seminar settings makes more students full participants in the learning experience.

Brock University is a special place that’s worth a visit.

Preschooler Emotional Development

Even at age 3 or 4, your child is very much her own person. She has distinct likes and dislikes, and her personality is developing more every day. She is getting better at using words to express how she's feeling, which means fewer tantrums. Her mood may still change drastically from one moment to the next, but she is more likely to talk about being angry or sad rather than having a meltdown.

Preschoolers: Ruled by Emotions

Though your 3-year-old is beginning to understand the emotions he's feeling, he still has very little control over them. If he finds something funny, he'll laugh hysterically. If something makes him feel sad or angry, he'll burst into tears.

At this age, your preschooler still hasn't developed much impulse control. If he feels something, he's likely to act on it. This may mean snatching a toy away from another child if he wants to play with it, or getting upset when he wants a snack after being told he has to wait until dinnertime. Delayed gratification means nothing to him -- he wants it, and he wants it now.

Three- and 4-year-old children may use hitting, biting, or pushing as a way to solve conflicts. They simply don't understand the difference between appropriate and inappropriate interactions yet. It's your job to teach your child that there are right and wrong ways to express emotions and resolve problems with others.

As your child gets older, she'll begin to see a connection between emotional outbursts and negative

consequences. Throwing a tantrum may result in a "time out" or a favorite toy being taken away. These consequences are helping your 4-year-old understand a tantrum isn't an acceptable way to show emotion.

Your 4-year-old is also a budding comedian. He's starting to develop a sense of humor, and he loves being silly and making people laugh. Don't be surprised if you hear him calling his friend a "poo-poo head" and then laughing hysterically; 4-year-olds find potty talk highly entertaining.

Empathy also begins to emerge around age 4. Four-year-olds are starting to understand that others have feelings, too, and they can relate when a friend is feeling sad or hurt. They may want to give a crying friend a hug or kiss his boo boo.

By age 5, your child has made leaps and bounds in her emotional development. She's gotten much better at regulating her emotions, and she talks about her feelings easily. She has also gotten better at controlling her impulses. She patiently waits her turn, and she often asks first before taking something that isn't hers.

When something makes your 5-year-old mad, she's much more likely to express her anger using words instead of getting physical or throwing a tantrum. The downside to this is that she may begin to use mean words and name-calling when she's angry or upset.

Around this age, your preschooler may start to get interested in sexuality. He may ask questions about where babies come from. He is fascinated by his own body, and he may start to touch or play with his genitals. He may also be interested in exploring the genitals of others. All of this is totally normal, but it's important to let your 5-year-old know what is and isn't appropriate.

Make sure he understands that it's OK to be curious about "private parts," but it's not OK to play with or show them in public. Also make sure he understands that it's never OK for other people to touch his genitals, except mom or dad during bath time or if something hurts down there.

Preschoolers and Fantasy Play

Around age 3, children begin to develop a vivid imagination. At this age, your preschooler will begin to spend a great deal of time in a fantasy world of her own creation. Her dolls and stuffed animals all have names and personalities. She may chat with imaginary friends. Parents sometimes worry that imaginary friends are a sign of loneliness or isolation, but in fact they're just the opposite. Children use this type of fantasy play to learn how to interact with real people. It's practice for the "real world." At an age when your child has very little control over her own life, her fantasy world is her own creation. She's in charge.

Around the same time your preschooler begins to talk to an imaginary friend, he may also develop a fear of the monster living under his bed. These types of fears are common. They are also quite serious to him, so don't make a joke out of it. The best thing you can do is reassure your child that he's safe and nothing is going to hurt him.

As your child gets older, fantasy play will continue to be an important part of his life, but he'll get better at understanding the difference between fantasy and reality. His fantasies will get more elaborate and sophisticated, and don't be surprised if they sometimes involve violence. Don't let games of shoot-'em-up bother you; it's totally normal for children to be fascinated with weapons and violence at this age, and it's not a sign that they'll be violent when they're older.

Your Independent Preschooler

The older your preschooler gets, the more she'll crave independence. It may sound like a contradiction, but the best way to nurture your preschooler's independence and self-confidence is to keep her life fairly structured. Give her choices, but don't give her endless choices. Let her choose between two outfits to wear, or ask her if she wants a turkey sandwich or macaroni and cheese for lunch. When she asks to do something you know isn't a good idea, hold firm. Being allowed choices within a structured framework will help to boost her self-confidence while at the same time letting her know she's safe and secure.

Shared from http://www.webmd.com

Helping Your Child Succeed in School—and Life

by Barbara Cervone and Kathleen Cushman

November 20, 2012

PROVIDENCE, RI— For almost a dozen years, WKCD has gathered the voices and stories of middle and high school age students nationwide. These youth have told us about their desire to do well in school, go to college, improve their community. They want to raise a loving family, right the wrongs they see around them, and much more.

When asked what keeps them going, so many of these youth point to a parent (and to mothers most of all) as their rock and inspiration.

“Everybody needs one person in their life who thinks they’re great, no matter what,” Alice, then 16, told us years ago.

The parents we've met and talked with express the same hopes: that their children will be good students, find a decent job, enjoy and support a family of their own, and stand up as citizens.

When educators think about how parents can help their kids succeed in school, they often speak of "parent involvement." They hope parents will participate in school events—parent-teacher conferences, special nights like "Family Math," volunteering in the classroom, chaperoning class trips, fund raising, serving on advisory committees. They always mention supervising homework. Schools that engage parents in these ways see positive results, according to three decades of research. Student attendance, homework completion, and persistence increase; disruptive classroom behavior decreases,

School is important and education matters. When the parents of middle and high school students make these same commitments, the message, ironically, can be stronger. As one tenth grader told us: "In high school, you kinda want your parents to butt out of school. The less they know, the better. When they hang in there you may not like it, but you see how much they care. It like rubs off."

How we can all better help parents in their role as their child's first teacher—and later, as a ballast and guide? In addition to encouraging parent involvement in school, how can we help parents nurture in their children habits that will last a lifetime, shaping their success in school, at work, and in the community?

Which are the most important of the many skills they will need? And how can families help children practice those things, with everything else they have to do?

WKCD's new "Advice for Parents" handbook and workshop (two videos and accompanying handouts) sketch out some answers—a contribution we hope to build on in the future. In keeping with WKCD's mission, we target the parents of middle and high school age students, especially parents whose circumstances cut short their own education or hindered their own parents’ ability to serve as guides.

Here's what we've learned so far.

“Monitor your child’s homework” typically tops the advice for parents. It sounds simple, but it’s not. Getting homework “done” requires more than mastering math facts or punctuation. Students need to organize their tasks, stick to them, and manage their time. They need to listen and ask questions when teachers assign the work. Parents can help their children develop these skills.

The advice continues: “Make sure your child has enough sleep, a nutritious diet, and exercise.” We parents try to do that, even though it’s hard as children grow older. We care about our children’s health, in and out of school.

But good study habits and hygiene are not enough to get ahead. Young people must also develop “character strengths” like grit, curiosity, conscientiousness, even optimism. Our children need to learn self-control and how to manage stress. They will have to learn from their failures. The more curious and resourceful children are, the better. They need self-confidence—the belief that they can succeed in spite of obstacles.

Educators often call this “social-emotional learning the skills that don’t show up on standardized tests.

And here are our guiding principles, drawn from the latest research on the science of learning.

SUCCESS

Our potential is not fixed at birth

“Maria is a quick learner.” “Sean is poor at math.” “Aravis is well organized.” “TJ is lazy like his brother.” We speak of these traits as if they were fixed at birth. But scientists who study the brain and how we learn have reached a different conclusion. In fact, all of us can grow strong and meet challenges if we work hard and stick with it. Inborn talent and predispositions (like laziness or shyness) are just the starting point.

Effective practice makes the difference

What is the secret to developing our abilities, no matter what level we start at? Not surprisingly, the answer lies in practice. Getting good at a particular sport, we all know, takes hours of practice. Ditto for playing a musical instrument—or cooking or dancing or public speaking. Developing the skills to succeed in school, work, and life is no different: it takes practice, one step at a time. How we practice makes all the difference in learning to do something well, the scientists also say.

Habits, like abilities, are also developed through practice

Managing stress. Developing self-control. Keeping at it. Being curious and resourceful. Feeling self-confident. Getting a handle in these areas—these habits (like keeping anger under wrap)—challenges all of us, regardless of our age. The latest research suggests that these social and emotional skills are as important as academic skills in laying the foundation for student success—and can be taught and learned. Parents can help their child develop both strong abilities and lasting habits.

Success builds on success

The more we achieve, the more we will want to achieve. Parents can help set up a circle: when their children work hard and get good results, they’ll want to work harder still.

So let's get started! Please see the boxes on the right.

Shared from http://www.whatkidscando.org/

Parenting Rules and Expectations: “But Everyone Else Is Doing It!”

Your child: “Everyone else is going to the party. Why can’t I?”

You: “I don’t care what ‘everyone else’ is doing. You can’t go and that’s final.”

Your child: “Why are you so mean? You never let me do anything. I hate you!”

Do you ever wonder if your rules are too strict—or too lenient? When is it time to reel your child back in, and how will you know when it’s safe to loosen the reins a bit? Most importantly, is your child ready for more independence, or showing clear signs that he’s not?

“It’s okay to say ‘no’—and in fact, sometimes that’s exactly what your child needs.”

If your child is asking for more independence, it’s important to realize that this is normal. Kids really should want more freedom. They should want to do more with peers as they get older rather than isolating themselves at home. On the other hand, don’t let your child bully you into giving them more freedom. If your child is pushing and pushing in order to get you to agree to something, you don’t have to respond right away. You can always say, “I need to think about it.  I want to talk to your father and your friend’s parents first.” Take that time to figure out if you’re comfortable with the request, if it’s safe, if your child is ready for more freedom, and what the normal expectations are for kids in his age range. Remember, it’s okay to say “no”—and in fact, sometimes that’s exactly what your child needs.

Related: Does your child bully you into giving him what he wants?

Here are 5 things you can do as a parent to determine if your child is ready for more freedom (or not), and how to give it to him or set firmer limits.

1: Develop reasonable expectations. In order to strike the right balance as a parent, it’s important to lay the groundwork first by doing your homework. That means finding out what normal expectations are for kids in your child’s age group. Norms differ for every age range: younger kids might want to stay up later, watch a special TV show, or play a new video game. Maybe they’re starting to ask if they can stay overnight at a friend’s house. Older kids, on the other hand, are looking do to things like borrow the car and attend concerts and parties.

Investigate. Talk to others. It’s important not to stay isolated as a parent around these kinds of subjects because then you run the risk of having your child be the one to tell you what the norm is. They might try to push things on you by saying things like, "Tommy’s mom lets him do it."

You don’t necessarily have to abide by his friends’ parents rules, but it’s good to know what others out there are doing. Make your own judgment about what your child should be allowed to do based on your family’s values and what you know of your child. How do you know when your child is ready for more independence? I always tell parents, “You’re the best judge of what your child needs. Listen to your gut.”

Related: Having trouble setting limits with your child and sticking to them? Here’s how.

2. Be clear and complete with your expectations. Let your kids know what the rules are. If you have a rule that’s really important to you, feel free to say it over and over, like a slogan: "No drinking, period." Or "Only one other child in the car when you drive," or "Follow the speed limit."

3.Know the Facts. If your child is asking if he can go to a party, you want to get the facts first and attend to safety concerns. Ask the following: “Who’s going, how are you getting there, where are you going, and who’s going to be home?” If he can’t give you those details, then he may not be ready for that kind of activity. If he can and you decide it’s okay, you can say, "Yes, you can go, but you can’t drive anyone else. And you need to be back by your curfew.” (Don’t worry if your child grumbles. Believe it or not, kids actually feel safer when parents set some parameters around their behavior.) Let’s say your child goes to the party, follows all the rules, and comes back in good shape. Chances are the next time it will be easier for you to give him that kind of freedom. Eventually, you might let him take another step toward independence by allowing other kids to go with him in the car.

4. Make incremental steps. When it comes to giving your child more independence, start with small steps. If she successfully meets the expectations of each step, then you can add more responsibility or more freedom. For example, if your child wants to have a curfew of 12 p.m. instead of 11 p.m., you might say, “Let’s start at 11:30 p.m. If you can come in at that time for two weeks, we can talk about moving it to 12 p.m.” This way, your child is showing you that she can follow the rules. If you always say “no” out of fear that something bad might happen, the risk is that your child will never learn how to manage independence because she won’t have had the opportunities to learn.

If your child is acting up and can’t follow your incremental rules, this tells you that she’s not ready for more independence. Generally kids want more freedom and can learn how to earn it.

Related: Does your child act out and fight with you all the time?

Here are four questions you can ask your child before you give them some additional freedom:

1. How will we know it’s working?

2. How will we know it’s not working?

3. What will we do if it’s working?

4. What will we do if it’s not working?

Those are powerful questions, whether you ask them in regard to your child staying up later, using the car, or going to a dance. Here’s how you can apply it. Imagine this scenario: Your teen wants to go to his first concert with some friends. Let’s say as a parent, you’re nervous, but open to the idea. The conversation might go like this:

“This is a pretty big step. How will we know it’s working—that you’re able to handle it—if we let you go?” Your child might say, “I’ll go to the concert and come straight home afterward.” You might want to add the following: “That’s right, you’ll go straight to the concert and call or text me when you get there. Then you’ll text me when it’s over and let me know you’re coming home.”

The next question is, “How will we know it’s not working?” And the answer: “If I don’t hear from you all night. If I find out you drove other kids in the car or were drinking. If you come home late.”

End the conversation with the last two “what” questions:

“What will we do if it works out? I’ll be more likely to let you go next time.”

“What will we do if it doesn’t work out? We’ll take a break on concerts for awhile until you can show me that you can be more responsible.”

Those terms are the elements for any discussion around your child meeting responsibilities or doing new things. This is especially effective because it focuses your kids on the rules while giving you a structure to fall back on if your child can’t meet the expectations.

It’s also important to be aware of the fact that there are going to be missteps on your child’s part along the way when they don’t meet the expectations. Let’s say your child drives to the party safely, doesn’t drink, and doesn’t have friends in the car, but he comes home 30 minutes late. Along with the conversation listed above, talk with him about what was going on at the time and the choices he made. Ask, “What can you do differently next time so you don’t come home late again and get in trouble?” With kids of all ages, let them know that they’re not going to be given more freedom until they can meet the next step.

Related: Is your child making bad choices? How to give effective consequences.

Believe me, I’m a mom myself and I know that none of this is easy. We worry, we agonize and we spend many sleepless nights hoping we’ve made the right decisions as parents. Behind much of our reluctance to reel out more freedom is our fear that we won’t be able to protect our kids—that they’ll do something that’s unsafe or scary. If you realize you’re way out of sync with other parents in terms of your expectations, it’s worth looking at what’s behind it. Does it have to do with your child and the risks involved, or does it have more to do with you and your fears? Understand that as your child grows, you really do need to offer him the opportunity for age-appropriate independence. After all, how is your child going to learn to be independent on his own if he’s never given the chance to try new things? It’s difficult, but we need to make those leaps sometimes as parents so our kids can learn to fly.

About Janet Lehman, MSW

Janet Lehman, MSW, has worked with troubled children and teens for over 30 years. A veteran social worker, she specializes in child behavior issues — ranging from anger management and oppositional defiance to more serious criminal behavior in teens. In addition, Janet gained a personal understanding of child learning and behavior challenges from her son, who struggled with learning disabilities in school. She is co-creator of The Total Transformation® Program, The Complete Guide To Consequences™, Getting Through To Your Child™, and Two Parents One Plan™.

Shared from https://www.empoweringparents.com

10 Things Children Learn From Parents

Today I am sharing 10 valuable qualities that children can learn by their parents example. Let me tell you I was lucky to grow up as the youngest child of a loving family. As you can see I am not saying a perfect family but a loving one.  We had plenty of imperfections, plenty of craziness, plenty of hard times and good times, but I always knew that I was loved. The example of many of my family members taught me far more than anything they ever said to me. Inspired by those things that I learned as a child, today I share this post.

…here they are!

1

Be an Example

Do you remember as a kid wanting to be just like your dad or mom?

 I used to play for hours dressing up with my mom and sister’s clothing and heels, to look just like them.

HOME is the SCHOOL where our kids learn the most.

We are the book from where they learn the best and the worst of habits. 

The way we speak, the way we treat others, the way we react to situations,

will be far more powerful than the things we teach them.

  

2

Be Positive

Bullying, name calling, and lack of encouragment is too often part of our kid’s lives.

As parents we have the power to be a source of “sunshine”.

Even as our children make mistakes we can reaffirm with them that every day is a new chance to grow and become the best we can. We can build confidence and teach them how to have a positive attitude

as we choose ourselves to see the donut instead of the hole in our daily lives.

Are we complainers or are we happy?

Are we always thinking ” if only…” or are we always looking for ways to make good things happen?

 If we want our children to have a positive attitude we need to be optimistic ourselves.

3

Hard Work 

I can honestly say that one of the greatest blessing in my life was to grow up without much.

From a very young age I learned that money didn’t grow on trees. Working hard taught me to be self-reliant and  gave me a sense of accomplishment. From hard work I learned discipline, sacrifice, believing in myself, and this gave value to the things around me.

 If we want our children to be hard workers we need to provide opportunities for them.

4

Dream Big

When I was a young child I was asked many times what I wanted to be when I grew up.

No matter how crazy my future occupations could be, I never heard once comments such as “that’s stupid”, “no, you won’t” or even “why would you want to do that?”.

I always received from my family reassurance that my dreams would come true.

Now, I do everyday what I love and I believe that much of my confidence came from my family believing in me before I did.

Let’s be dream builders!

5

Family First

For me one of the biggest challenges of being a parent is how to manage time.

There is so much to do and so many things that can distract us from what matters the most. 

Come on, let’s get real Pinterest has to be on the very top of the list!

I feel that too often it is easy to give family our “leftover time” instead of making family the priority of our lives.

It really requires unselfish loyalty to put our family first.

Family requires time.

Reading books, making and eating dinner together, playing games, creating memories,

all of these things require OUR VALUABLE TIME.

Trust me, I know how hard it is but I also know the joy that just a family can provide!

6

Gratitude

I really believe that gratitude is the key to happiness!

Gratitude was taught in my home every time we bowed our heads in prayer, gratitude was taught every time we didn’t complain for the lack of food, gratitude was taught every time we shared, gratitude was not a word in my family it was a way of living and for that I am eternally grateful.

 If we want our children to be grateful we need to be thankful ourselves.

7

Manners

My mom always used to say  “you don’t have to love them but no matter what you must respect them.”

What a great advice this has been in my own life!

Manners are the simplest way to show respect for others!

Do our children see us treat others with respect, even those from other races or beliefs?

At home, do they hear us say thank you, please, and you are welcome to them?

Do they see us opening doors or holding them open for someone else to go first?

Do they see us restraining ourselves from profanity when things don’t go as we wish?

Do we treat them with respect?

Do we respect our own selves?

 If we want our children to have manners we need to be polite ourselves.

8

INTEGRITY 

 We can teach children to be trustworthy in so many simple ways.

We can show them with our actions that we are trustworthy.

It is super important for us as parents to think before we make promises to our children.

They need to believe in us, they need to believe that they can count on us. 

 If we want our children to be trustworthy we need to be truthful ourselves.

9

Courage

Courage is what makes us stand up for what we believe in. We need to have the courage of not only dreaming but to come out of our comfort zone to become the best version of what we can be. Courage reminds us to stand up when we are afraid.  

Courage makes us persevere in those situations when fear is telling us otherwise.

 If we want our children to be courageous we need to show courage first.

10

Love Yourself

How many times do we say out loud without thinking things like… ” I am fat”, “I am not smart”?

How many times do we act or treat ourselves like we are not worthy of the best that there is?

Would you agree with the fact that we women especially have a tendency to compare ourselves?

The reality is that in order to love others I need to love me first.

Our confidence will give confidence to our children.

If we want our kiddos to believe that they are beautiful regardless of the size of their pants,

we need to be comfortable in our own skin.

If we want our children to believe they are precious beyond measure,

we need to remember that simple fact ourselves.

It is as simple as that!

I am not perfect parent and everyday I learn something knew.

If you have some wonderful quality you learn from your own parents please

SHARE THEM IN THE COMMENTS… I will love to hear from you!

Thank you so much for hanging out with me today!

Besos 

Desiree

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