viernes, 10 de noviembre de 2017
miércoles, 25 de octubre de 2017
Help Your Child Balance Homework and After-School Sports
Most afternoons my children come home from school with their backpacks loaded with homework assignments. They both play multiple sports, and it’s always an ongoing struggle to find a way to get it all done before bedtime.
More often than not, it’s a losing battle. As a result, the kids are up late into the night, trying to finish those last math equations or study their spelling words. In the morning they wake up tired, only to start the cycle all over again.
Many Kids Today Juggle Homework and Sports
Most other families we know are struggling with the same problem. As our kids get older, their homework increases, while at the same time their coaches often start demanding longer and more frequent practices and training sessions.
The Experts Weigh In on the Value Factor
To help my children better navigate the co-existing demands of school and sports, I recently decided to do some research on this issue. What I discovered surprised me. I found lots of articles and blogs written by psychologists and guidance counselors addressing this very topic. Although I expected that many experts would frown upon letting kids take on so many commitments, what I found was the reverse. Many of these experts saw real value in allowing children to apply themselves to athletics and other extra curricular activities.
In addition to the many health benefits of being active, there is also much to be learned on the golf course, football field, and gymnastics floor that supplements what happens in the classroom. For instance, young athletes can get a crash course in the importance of working as a team, training to master new skills, developing effective strategies, and setting goals. Better yet, all of these lessons can actually help improve kids’ grades and study habits.
Parents Also Play a Role
In order to get these benefits, your children need to be able to handle the pressure involved. That’s where parents can help. They can play an important role in helping children manage their athletic commitments and homework and keep a clear head throughout the process.
Here is a rundown of some of the best tips I found for parents of busy kids:
- Sit down with your child and make a schedule of all of your after-school commitments and figure out where homework will fit. Be creative. If time is short, it’s okay to have your child study in the car or bus on the way to a practice or to start homework during lunch or study hall. By planning ahead to fit it all in, your child won’t feel so overwhelmed.
- Keep in close contact with your child to be sure he is thriving in the situation. Ask him how he feels and what he is enjoying or not enjoying. By talking with your child, you’ll get a sense of when he is in control, or when he is in over his head and may need to pare things down.
- Stay on top of your child’s grades on homework and tests so you can be sure the quality of work isn’t suffering as a result of him being stretched too thin. If you find that grades are slipping, this can be a sign that it’s time to cut back for a bit.
- Be sure to allocate family time for everyone to come together and bond. If evenings are too busy, you can sneak in some time on the weekend or even in the mornings. There is no rule about when you need to come together, but it’s important that school and sports don’t replace your family’s connection.
- When life feels too rushed, figure out other activities your child can pass on to free up his schedule a little. Maybe he won’t be able to make it to a weekend party or special event; it’s a good lesson to learn that it’s okay not to do everything. By leaving some free time, he’ll be able to spend more quality time with family or friends and he’ll approach his sports and homework feeling refreshed.
The Need to Prioritize School Over Sports
While these tips can help you to find that precious balance between doing enough and doing too much, always keep in mind that you have to look at your individual situation. If despite your efforts your child seems to be struggling with sports and homework, don’t feel compelled to have it do it all. Your children are more likely to go on to college than they are to become a professional athlete, so if you need to make some choices of where your child should focus his attention, remember that school should always be the priority.
Shared from www.noodle.com
jueves, 7 de septiembre de 2017
miércoles, 30 de agosto de 2017
Dos and Don'ts of Parent-Teacher Communication Share Pin Email
Parent-teacher communication plays a big role in helping your child to have a successful academic career. Since parents and teachers know different aspects of a child's personality, they must work together to solve problems or celebrate gains. Unfortunately, because teachers spend their time in the classroom with students, it may not always be easy to get in touch with your child's teacher. Knowing some of the Dos and Don'ts of parent-teacher communication can help you make that connection.
Keeping Parent-Teacher Communication Lines Open
- Don't: Feel as though you're being a nuisance. Whether you have concerns, questions or just simply want to say "Great job," it's perfectly all right to get in touch with your child's teacher. That's what good parent-teacher communication is all about.
- Do: Advocate for your child. His teacher may spend six hours a day with him and know him within the school setting, but you're with him the rest of the time and know him in a very different light. If there is something he needs or if something isn't going well, make yourself heard.
- Don't: Wait until there's a problem to get in touch with your child's teacher.
- Do: Make an effort to introduce yourself in person, in writing or over the phone, as a way to begin a good parent-teacher relationship.
- Don't: Call your child's teacher during the school day and expect to be put right through to her.
- Do: Let your child's teacher know what is a good way to get in touch with you and at what times. Teachers are busy teaching during the school day and often use breaks to use the bathroom, grab a quick lunch and/or prepare lesson plans. Thus, you may have to wait until after school hours to speak on the phone. However, if you let the teacher know that you can be reached via note or email or that early in the morning is a fine time to call, you have a better chance of speaking soon.
- Don't: Say to the person who answers the phone "Tell her Jane Smith called" and expect the teacher to know who you are and that you would like a return call.
- Do: Leave a message identifying whose parent you are and leave as much detail as you feel comfortable sharing about why you are calling. If you would like a call back, make sure to mention that in your message.
- Don't: Call your child's teacher at home unless she has specifically indicated it is OK.
- Do: Ask the teacher whether it's all right to reach her at home in the evening to discuss a problem your child is having. While many teachers prefer not to be disturbed at home, some don't mind and will provide their home phone number to a parent whom they know will not abuse it. If you have her home number, make sure to be respectful of the teacher's time, calling at a reasonable hour and only for urgent situations (usually problems that need addressing before the next school day).
- Don't: Hesitate to request a meeting.
- Do: Let your child's teacher know if you need a few face-to-face minutes with her. Just be sure to let her know why, whether you'd like other staff to be there and about how long you expect the meeting to take. That way she can set aside enough time for you.
- Don't: Assume that phone calls and notes are the only way to speak with a teacher.
- Do: Find out whether or not your school or school district has an intranet, which provides each teacher with a school-related email address. Email is a very quick and easy way to get in touch with a teacher and can provide a great parent-teacher communication platform in which issues or questions can be addressed without playing phone tag or setting up a meeting.
- Don't: Send an unsealed note to your child's teacher and expect your son or daughter not to read it.
- Do: Seal notes in an envelope or fold and staple them shut, so it's obvious if little eyes have been prying. Make sure to clearly print the teacher's name on the outside if it is for her eyes only. That way, if there is a substitute for the day the note will be set aside unread. Notes that deal with changes in transportation for the day or lunch money should be labeled as such on the outside. For example, "John's Lunch Money" or "Bus Change Information."
Shared from www.verywell.com
martes, 22 de agosto de 2017
About Bentley University ( Visit on August 24, 2017)
Bentley
University is one of the nation's leading business schools, dedicated to
preparing a new kind of business leader and one with the deep technical skills,
the broad global perspective and the high ethical standards required to make a
difference in an ever-changing world. To achieve our goal, we infuse our
advanced business curriculum with the richness of a liberal arts education. The
results are graduates who are making an impact in their chosen fields and
turning their passions into success stories. Located on a classic New England
campus just minutes from Boston, Bentley is a dynamic community of leaders,
scholars and creative thinkers.
Today,
the challenges of a rapidly changing world have made business skills and
experiences hot commodities. More students are considering business as the
foundation of their higher education experience, and considering Bentley in the
process. With our unique blend of business, technology and the liberal arts,
Bentley, a private, not-for-profit institution, provides students with
relevant, practical and transferable skills.
At
Bentley, we blend the breadth and technological strength of a large university
with the values and student focus of a small college. Students interested in
business professions choose from a wide range of programs that address all
functional areas including accountancy, finance, marketing, management and
liberal arts — all anchored in technology.
UNDERGRADUATE STUDENTS
·
Undergraduate
students: 4,200
·
Average undergraduate
class size: 26
·
Approximately 81% of
full-time undergraduates live on campus
·
International students
represent 16.7% of the undergraduate student population
lunes, 7 de agosto de 2017
Back to school Tips
Whether their summer was jam-packed with activities or filled with complaints about being bored with nothing to do, kids often have a tough time making the back-to-school transition.
Emphasize the positive things about going back to school, such as hanging out with old friends, meeting new classmates, buying cool school supplies, getting involved in sports and other activities, and showing off the new duds (or snazzy accessories if your child has to wear a uniform).
It's also important to talk to kids about what worries them and offer reassurance: Are they afraid they won't make new friends or get along with their teachers? Is the thought of schoolwork stressing them out? Are they worried about the bully from last year?
Consider adjusting your own schedule to make the transition smoother. If possible, it's especially beneficial for parents to be home at the end of the school day for the first week. But many working moms and dads just don't have that flexibility. Instead, try to arrange your evenings so you can give kids as much time as they need, especially during those first few days.
If your child is starting a new school, contact the school before the first day to arrange a visit. And ask if your child can be paired up with another student, or "buddy," and if you can be connected with other new parents. This will help both of you with the adjustment to new people and surroundings. Some schools give kids maps to use until things become more familiar.
To help ease back-to-school butterflies, try to transition kids into a consistent school-night routine a few weeks before school starts. Also make sure that they:
Shared from kidshealth.org
Battling the Butterflies
As with any new or potentially unsettling situation — like starting school for the first time or entering a new grade or new school — allow kids time to adjust. Remind them that everyone feels a little nervous about the first day of school and that it will all become an everyday routine in no time.Emphasize the positive things about going back to school, such as hanging out with old friends, meeting new classmates, buying cool school supplies, getting involved in sports and other activities, and showing off the new duds (or snazzy accessories if your child has to wear a uniform).
It's also important to talk to kids about what worries them and offer reassurance: Are they afraid they won't make new friends or get along with their teachers? Is the thought of schoolwork stressing them out? Are they worried about the bully from last year?
Consider adjusting your own schedule to make the transition smoother. If possible, it's especially beneficial for parents to be home at the end of the school day for the first week. But many working moms and dads just don't have that flexibility. Instead, try to arrange your evenings so you can give kids as much time as they need, especially during those first few days.
If your child is starting a new school, contact the school before the first day to arrange a visit. And ask if your child can be paired up with another student, or "buddy," and if you can be connected with other new parents. This will help both of you with the adjustment to new people and surroundings. Some schools give kids maps to use until things become more familiar.
To help ease back-to-school butterflies, try to transition kids into a consistent school-night routine a few weeks before school starts. Also make sure that they:
- get enough sleep (establish a reasonable bedtime so that they'll be well-rested and ready to learn in the morning)
- eat a healthy breakfast (they're more alert and do better in school if they eat a good breakfast every day)
- write down the need-to-know info to help them remember details such as their locker combination, what time classes and lunch start and end, their homeroom and classroom numbers, teachers' and/or bus drivers' names, etc.
- use a wall calendar or personal planner to record when assignments are due, tests will be given, extracurricular practices and rehearsals will be held, etc.
- have them organize and set out what they need the night before (homework and books should be put in their backpacks by the door and clothes should be laid out in their bedrooms)
Shared from kidshealth.org
jueves, 1 de junio de 2017
jueves, 4 de mayo de 2017
13 conversations to have about 13 reasons why
PARENTSBrought to you by
13 conversations to have about 13 Reasons Why
Shaun Robinson, the head of the NZ Mental Health Foundation, suggests 13 ways you can start a conversation with young people about the issues raised by the controversial hit show.
Content warning: This post contains discussions of mental health and suicide.
It seems like everyone is talking about 13 Reasons Why. Some people find it pretty disturbing, like 17 year old Bree Brown, who yesterday wrote that the show reinforces some dangerous myths about suicide. Others think it is starting conversations about issues that get swept under the rug – like slut-shaming, bullying, sexual violence and suicide.
I can see both sides.
Yes, these conversations are important, and we should be having them. The issues raised in the series are sadly a reality for many of our young people and they can have a devastating impact on our communities.
But conversations and stories that oversimplify the causes of suicide, present suicide as a reasonable response to difficult circumstances, explicitly discuss methods of suicide and fail to explore any solutions or avenues of help aren’t safe conversations and put vulnerable people at risk of taking their own lives.
We need to have open, honest and informed conversations about these really challenging topics and be prepared to keep talking about them. We need conversations that help people to understand that suicide is preventable, that we each have the power to help those in need and that most people who feel suicidal will go on to recover and lead great lives.
It’s likely that the young people in your life will watch this show, or have friends who watch it. The show raises a lot of questions, but it doesn’t provide any answers. That’s where you come in. Young people are already talking about the show – make sure they have someone safe and responsible to talk with. It’s important that they don’t feel like they’ve done something wrong by watching it, or feel they can’t talk about the issues the show has raised.
Here are 13 conversations you could have with your friends, family and kids about 13 Reasons Why. It’s quite a long list. Pick the stuff that works for you and go with that.
1. How did the show make you feel? The show is confronting and is designed to hit you hard. What did it bring up for you? Are there issues raised in the show that you need to talk to someone about? Did the show make you think about suicide? That last question is really important to ask yourself and others. If it did, then please reach out and tell someone. We know that some people become suicidal when they watch shows like this. It’s not abnormal, but it does mean you need some extra support and you deserve to get it.
2. Is suicide anyone’s fault? If you’ve lost someone to suicide, you might be familiar with the guilt that can come with this loss. People who are bereaved by suicide are often tormented by thoughts of what they could have done differently, how they could have helped. They may feel that other people are blaming them and this can prevent them from sharing their grief and getting the support they need. I want you to know: you are not responsible for someone else’s actions. It’s great to think and talk about how our actions can affect others, and how offering support and comfort to someone in need can make a real difference. But blaming a group or individual for someone’s suicide is never okay. The reasons behind suicide are almost always extremely complex and can’t be distilled to a single cause.
3. How can you be a supportive friend and still look after yourself? While Hannah never blames Clay for her death, the show strongly suggests that he could have done more to help her, and he clearly blames himself, saying “I cost a girl her life because I was too afraid to love her.” We all want to be a good friend, and support the people we care about if they’re having a shit time, but we can’t take it all on ourselves. No single person can be responsible for another person’s health and happiness, it’s too much.
What could you do if you were worried about a friend? Who else would you ask to help support your friend? You don’t have to have all the answers or do it all yourself. What services could you help them access? How do you care for yourself while you’re supporting someone else? It’s easy to focus on someone else’s needs first because they seem urgent, but living with that pressure can be exhausting. You need to look after yourself first.
4. What other options did Hannah have? I know young people who watched the show and felt that Hannah’s suicide was inevitable, that she didn’t have any option but to take her own life. That’s troubling. Hannah couldn’t see any other way to cope with the things that happened to her, but it would be good for us to talk about what we each could do if we’re in a similar situation. Make a list of the people you could ask for help if you needed it.
Hannah talked to her school counsellor and didn’t get the help she needed. Sometimes you might reach out for help and not get it. That can be crushing. It’s important to have a range of people and organisations you can reach out to so that you don’t feel you have nowhere to turn. Talk about who these people might be (friends, whānau, church leaders, teachers, counsellors, coaches, etc.) and what organisations could help you (your GP, Youthline and The Lowdown are great places to start). What would you say? Do you know what kind of help you might need in that situation, or would you need some guidance? These are good questions to ask before a problem arises but it’s an especially important conversation to have if you’re struggling and don’t know where to turn.
5. Slut-shaming: is it a big problem? A thread that runs through 13 Reasons Why are the ways in which Hannah is shamed for rumoured or actual explorations of her sexuality. Slut-shaming is a huge problem for our young people (particularly young women), but it’s not one we discuss very openly. Often without being conscious of it, most of us judge or criticise what young women do with their bodies – how they dress, how they walk or talk, and when and who and when they choose to share it with. These judgements can be deeply hurtful to the women who receive them.
Let’s talk about how you might be slut-shaming yourself or your friends. What effect does it have on how you feel about yourself and others? What judgements are you making about yourself and others based on what you wear or how you behave? Are those judgements true or fair? This is a huge, thorny issue that you won’t resolve in one conversation, but it’s time to start.
6. What do good friendships looks like? Making friends and finding out where you belong is a huge part of growing up. Most teens will turn to their friends for advice, support and comfort when they’re having a tough time. Our feelings of self-worth and identity are often formed based on our friendships, so when these relationships dissolve it can be incredibly hard to cope. Talk about how you would cope if you were betrayed by a friend. Who could you talk to? What does a good friendship look and feel like? Are online friends as good as real-life friends?
7. Is it safe for LGBTI people in your community? In the show, Courtney is worried her classmates will think she is a lesbian, so she spreads a rumour about Hannah and an openly lesbian student to divert attention. Why do you think that Courtney thought being a lesbian was shameful? How would that situation play out in your school or community? Talk about whether you think LGBTI students are supported and accepted. If you are LGBTI, do you feel safe expressing your whole identity? Do you know where to get support if you need it? (RainbowYOUTH, InsideOUT, Outline, Youthline.) LGBTI young people are 3-5x more likely to be bullied at school than their non-LGBTI counterparts. That’s not good enough. What role do you play in changing this?
8. How do we know who needs help? While it can be hard to know if someone needs help, it never hurts to ask. Trust your instincts – chances are they’re right. If someone you care about doesn’t seem like themselves anymore, or you notice they stop spending time with friend and family and doing the things they love, it’s a good time to step in. What could you say to them? How do you start that conversation? Who could you trust to get advice from? What support could you get for them?
9. How do we deal with rejection? More than once in 13 Reasons Why, people react appallingly to being rejected. Rejection can be brutal, it always hurts, but it’s something we all have to deal with at one time or another. It’s never okay to try and get revenge on the people who turn us down. Talk about a time when you’ve felt rejected. How did you deal with it? What do you think are healthy ways to cope with rejection?
10. Making mistakes – what do you do? In the show, Hannah loses some money her parents wanted to go to the bank. It’s an honest mistake, one that any of us could make, but she’s feeling overwhelmed and depressed, and she’s unable to cope with a seemingly minor problem. Have we responded with kindness or anger to other people making mistakes? How can we do better in future? Have you found making mistakes difficult to bear or that you’re very hard on yourself when you mess up? Sometimes that’s a sign of depression or anxiety, so please visit your doctor or depression.org.nz and see what support is available to help you manage these unhelpful thoughts.
11. Supporting victims of sexual violence: One of the hardest scenes in the show is Hannah’s guidance counsellor telling her she won’t be believed if she reports her rape and that she needs to move on. This response is wildly inappropriate and unhelpful. While it is a sad truth that many victims of sexual violence are not believed and not supported that doesn’t mean we can’t change this. How did this scene challenge your own beliefs about sexual violence? What would good support look like? Did it bring up memories or feelings that you need support with?
12. Did Hannah deserve to die? I’m going to answer this one for you: no. For me, one of the most troubling aspects of 13 Reasons Why is the way it presents suicide as the ultimate revenge. This doesn’t hold up. Hannah deserved to live a wonderful life. She deserved to be supported to recover from the terrible things that happened to her and go on to live a meaningful life. No-one deserves to lose their life as a way of teaching others a lesson. If you feel that people have treated you badly, your death is not a fair punishment – it’s not fair to you or to them.
13. If Hannah had lived, where would she be in 10 years? If Hannah had lived, where would she be in 10 years? I know from my own experience that when you’re feeling suicidal, you think there’s no way through. But I also know recovery is possible, and my life has unfolded in a hundred amazing ways that I could never have imagined when I was at my lowest point. We should be sharing recovery stories far and wide, shining lights on those who have overcome some of life’s most difficult challenges and gone on to live fulfilling lives. Hannah had huge potential – she could have done anything with her life. You have limitless potential, too. What could Hannah have done with her life if she’d found the right support? Where would you like to be in 10 years?
I think any of these conversations will help us to understand each other a little better and be kinder to one another. There are big, thorny issues in our society that we need to address for the sake of our young people. You have the opportunity to make things better for yourself and those around you. I hope you’ll take it.
Shared from https://thespinoff.co.nz
viernes, 21 de abril de 2017
viernes, 7 de abril de 2017
Pay it Forward
As life dragged on after her best friend Lynda Drabek's funeral, Charlene Moser took a novel approach to keeping the pain at bay: She carried out small acts of kindness. The good deeds she chose—paying for the drive-thru customer behind her, for instance—were things Lynda, a lifelong altruist, had done. "She would go through her address book, pick someone at random and write a card to them—no occasion, just because," Moser recalls.
At first, being the Good Samaritan wasn't easy. Both recipients and intermediaries—the drive-thru cashiers, for instance—were suspicious of her motives. Still, any resistance paled compared to the satisfaction Moser felt when someone smiled or thanked her for her efforts.
Literature, religions and fairy tales all trumpet the message that kindness will change our lives for the better—think of a transformed Scrooge in A Christmas Carol. But is this message just a sugar-coated platitude, or can altruism really create lasting satisfaction?
Last year, Stanford University psychologist Sonja Lyubomirsky decided to put the kindness-fulfillment connection to the test. She asked students to carry out five weekly "random acts of kindness" of their choice, anything from buying a Big Mac for a homeless person to helping a younger sibling with schoolwork.
Her results indicate the Scrooge effect is no myth. The students reported higher levels of happiness than a control group, with students who performed all five kind acts in one day reaping the biggest rewards by the end of the six-week study period. Previous studies have found that altruistic people tend to be happy, but Lyubomirsky's was the first to establish that good deeds are actually the direct cause of an increase in well-being.
Why is being generous such a mood-booster? While hard-and-fast answers are elusive, the main reason is that it gives people a strong sense they're doing something that matters. "There are a lot of positive social consequences to being kind—other people appreciate you, they're grateful and they might reciprocate," Lyubomirsky says. All of these responses, she adds, are likely to make your happiness cup run over. In another study, she found that people who felt most strongly that others appreciated their efforts reported the biggest boost.
New Jersey rabbi Shmuel Greenbaum can testify to the ways kind acts reshape the self-image. After his wife, Shoshana, was killed by a suicide bomber in Israel in 2001, Greenbaum decided to respond by carrying out small acts of kindness each day—and gradually felt his anger and apathy dissolve, replaced by a strong sense of purpose. "Being kind helps you feel in control," Greenbaum says. "By doing a good deed, you're saying, 'Here's something I can do to change the world.' "
Of course, real-world kindness bears little resemblance to sunshine-and-lollipops cliches. For starters, not all good deeds promise equal returns. Passing out smiley-face stickers or leaving lucky pennies on the sidewalk may not yield fulfillment, according to Jonathan Haidt, a University of Virginia psychologist and author of The Happiness Hypothesis. Instead, he recommends choosing deeds that strengthen existing social ties, such as driving to visit your grandmother. "If you do a random act of kindness for a stranger and it's a one-shot deal, there's much less likelihood that you're going to see any benefit," he says. "It's not the altruism per se that's important. It's really all about building relationships."
Lyubomirsky's work reveals another potential kindness pitfall: Like almost any other activity, being nice gets boring after a while. In a companion study, she found that participants who varied their acts of kindness—volunteering at a library one day and hosting a surprise party for a friend the next, for instance—reported bigger increases in mood than those who repeated the same act over and over. "You need variety or else it gets monotonous," she says. "It becomes a chore, like doing the same run every day." To experience kindness as a natural high rather than drudgery, she suggests brainstorming creative, unexpected good deeds, like surprising your nephew with a new Super Soaker or returning to your old high school to visit a teacher who inspired you.
Shared from www.psychologytoday.com
jueves, 23 de marzo de 2017
About Rollins ( Visit on March 27, 2017)
Established 1885
Fast Facts
Affiliation Nonsectarian, Independent, and Coeducational
Accreditation Rollins College is accredited by the Southern Association of Colleges and Schools Commission on Colleges (SACSCOC)
Rollins—by the numbers.
Established
1885
Affiliation
Nonsectarian, Independent, and Coeducational
Accreditation
Rollins College is accredited by the Southern Association of Colleges and Schools Commission on Colleges (SACSCOC)
Location and Campus
Winter Park, Florida, an attractive and historic residential community adjacent to the city of Orlando; the 80-acre campus is situated on the shores of beautiful Lake Virginia
Academic Programs
College of Liberal Arts (full-time undergraduate day program) Hamilton Holt School (evening undergraduate and graduate programs) Roy E. Crummer Graduate School of Business (MBA program) View a comprehensive list of offered academic departments, majors, and minors
Brief History
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lunes, 6 de marzo de 2017
13 Things to Teach Your Daughter Before 13
We recently did a blog post about 13 Things to Teach Your Son Before 13. So, naturally, we wanted to do a companion piece on raising daughters and the 13 things to teach your daughter before she turns 13.
While many items on this list will mirror what boys should be taught, some will be different, because girls face different pressures and challenges than boys do. Please let us know what you think about raising girls — we need advice too!
1. How to feel beautiful.
Teach your daughter that she is beautiful because of who she is in her heart and mind, not because of how she looks or how she dresses. Point out that, as cheesy as it sounds, real beauty does come from within. Help her understand that trying to be sexy won’t make her beautiful, because she is already beautiful without amping up her appearance. Build her confidence in who she is apart from her looks and explain to her that confidence translates into beauty.
But since research shows that girls in their pre-teen and teen years start showing more dissatisfaction with their bodies, you’ll need to be careful about even implying that she needs to change the way she looks. Engage in surface beauty changes for the fun of it — getting a new haircut, learning to use makeup, exercising — not to improve her appearance.
2. How to understand her hormones.
Help your daughter understand that getting a period is an amazing part of womanhood because it’s her body transitioning to the ability to have children. But also address hormonal changes realistically and tell her that the monthly cycle of hormonal activity can make her feel irritable, tired, or sad. Teach her to identify these states as being linked to her cycle so that she can be prepared for them. Teach her coping skills so that hormonal activity doesn’t derail her.
3. How to handle emotions.
Girl drama isn’t a given. Explain to your daughter that she can choose how to express herself calmly and maturely. Teach her how to reconcile differences with others. Teach her that she is the boss of her feelings and actions. This post about getting inside the mind of your tween daughter will help you understand her emotional take on life.
4. How to protect herself.
Give your daughter the information she needs to protect herself physically and emotionally. {Tweet This} Give her age-appropriate lessons on safety. When she’s in pre-school, talk about strangers. As she gets older, tell her about staying safe if she’s away from you at school, at a friend’s house, or if she’s confronted by someone who threatens to harm her physically or interact with her in an inappropriate way. (If your daughter’s dad is active in her life, here are 3 ways he can protect her too.)
5. How to stand up for herself.
Studies show that girls are encouraged by both parents and teachers to be sweet and conciliatory. And while we don’t want to send our daughters into the world with a chip on their shoulder and their fists raised looking for a fight, we need to let them know that it is okay to stand up for themselves and voice their beliefs and opinions.
So tell your daughter that she can express herself strongly, but respectfully. And, if someone is mistreating her, empower her to say, “I don’t really like the way you’re treating me, so I’m going to go now.”
6. How to make realistic choices.
Our daughters have as many educational and career opportunities as men. But unlike men, our reproductive years are limited. So, inspire your daughter to follow her dreams, but also have her look at her choices realistically. Yes, she can choose to have a career, but if being a wife and mom are important to her too, she’ll want to make that a priority as well.
Take it from me, someone who didn’t get married until 38 and had my first child at 39 and the next at 40, I did not understand that in saying yes to some things, I was putting others on hold.
7. How to make choices about sex.
Before you can teach your daughter to make good choices about sex, you’ll need to talk to her about sex in general. Keep sex from becoming a taboo topic by referring to it without embarrassment. Teach her about sex in the context of your family’s values. As she gets older, tell her the truth about sex and its consequences. Sadly, you’ll need to address oral sex, as often teenage girls see this as a way of getting intimate with boys without having “real” sex.
8. How to value boys.
Teach your daughter that she has great value, not just because she is a girl, but because she is a person. The same goes with boys. Boys are not better or more valuable than girls; they’re valuable because they are people. Help her understand that it’s not an us (girls) versus them (boys) world. Boys shouldn’t be put down or challenged just because they’re boys.
9. How to understand boys.
Boys and girls do have differences when it comes to their brains. Boys are more visual. Boys have more testosterone than women. These biological facts make boys and girls think differently, and approach life and problem-solving differently.
10. How to deal with the online world.
Help your daughter see that the online world is not the real world. Be sure that she’s spending more time with you and your family than with her online community. The more time that she spends online, the greater her chances of feeling discouraged about what other girls have that she doesn’t — be it their clothes, their bodies, or their boyfriends. Have a no-phone rule at meals, in the car (yes!), and in her bedroom overnight.
11. How to deal with pornography.
While men, being visually oriented, are more prone to use pornography, girls can fall into the pornography trap as well. So, be frank with her. Tell her, as you would a boy, that our bodies are wired to be interested in sex and stimulated by sexual content. But tell her that viewing pornography will take her down a path that is not healthy to her emotionally or spiritually.
Also point out that the images shown in pornography are often extremes, and that she should not feel that this is the standard for her sexuality. And as more boys view pornography, teach her that she can say no to boys, and she doesn’t have to agree to things in the sexual area that she’s not comfortable with and that may be pornography-inspired.
12. How to work hard.
Help your daughter understand that working hard is the key to moving forward in life. Reward her hard work with praise. Point out the link in her own life between her hard work and success.
13. How to have faith.
A strong faith will help your daughter navigate the challenges of life. It will serve as the basis for her standards and the choices she makes. Teach her about the power of faith. Teach her how to strengthen her faith. Pray with her. (Not sure how to shape your child’s faith? Here are five ways to get started.)
What else are you trying to teach your daughter?
Shared from www.imom.com
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